We're Giving Lip Service to Mental Health Issues Again. And We'll Presumably Continue to Not Actually Do Anything.

Another person taught by society that human life is not valuable has gone on a killing spree. Now everyone will begin wringing their hands about how we need better mental health care for about five minutes, but no one will actually do anything. We'll go back to normal until the next shooting, and it will keep happening over and over and over again and we will all pretend to be shocked. Better mental health care -- not involuntary commitment, not violation of patient privacy rights, and certainly not a national mental health registry -- is the solution, and I am so fucking tired of not hearing anyone talk about what better mental health care means.

Here's What It's Like to Buy a Phone From Sprint

One of the great things about buying a phone from Sprint is that they make it clear from the very beginning that they do not give a fuck about you, your satisfaction, your needs, the company's reputation, basic decency, or the law. I appreciate that kind of honesty, and I appreciate even more the ability to imperiously give the middle finger to god damn everything. 

It's Time to Declare War on the Drug War

What do you call a country where the government imposes its will on the people against their will? Simple answer: A totalitarian state.

Snowdeath 2.0: We Shall Slay the Snowbeast With Our Guns

In what can only be characterized as a completely shocking and unforeseeable turn of events, we did not all perish in the great Snowdeath of 2014. And here we are again, staring down the barrel of another Snowdeath as it prepares to shoot its icy bullets of rage and death directly in our faces. The local media has begun to refer to this latest storm as, "an unprecedented event of truly epic and unrivaled proportions." Indeed, it does appear that way. The photo on the right is the horrific current state of the weather. If you look really close, you can probably see a single rain drop. And that rain drop might even be cold. The photo on the left is the apocalyptic scene in the grocery store today. That's a line that stretches all the way around the store and back up to the dairy section, people. As it turns out, it's not just snow that kills. But also rain and cold. 

Snow in Atlanta: We're All Going to Die Because There's an Inch of Snow on the Ground

The view from our house on our last night on Earth.

There is something really satisfying about watching life devolve into a parody of its stereotypical self. And every few years, when the snow rains down its freezing flakes of death upon the city of Atlanta, that is precisely what happens.

How to Get Everything Done: Time Management Tips from an OCD Luddite

As January fades into February, I can almost hear the exasperated sighs of people who have broken their new year's resolutions. New year's resolutions are for sissies. Seriously. You should be making smaller resolutions every single day, because planning an entire year with a single statement or goal is simply not practical. The key to achieving your resolutions isn't particularly glamorous or exciting: to achieve your resolutions, you have to take time every single day to plan your life.

I know, it doesn't sound very exciting. Much easier to insist that you're going to be "more passionate in life," lose 50 pounds, or "be a better person." But these are empty goals that aren't backed by a clear plan. Because of that, they're doomed to fail. So I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret: I get everything done every day, without fail. I have a huge list of clients who place all sorts of demands on me, and I have never missed a deadline. I've never forgotten about something I had to do. I am never surprised when I have an easy or stressful week. I'm not bragging. I'm telling you that if you plan your time, you can be like me.

What is Feminism?

It's Saturday and Jeff has the flu, so instead of a rollicking evening out, I'm at home cuddling my smartphone. And that means Facebook. Lots of Facebook. Whenever I spend too much time on Facebook, I end up fighting with someone about feminism. These fights typically require me to explain basic, fundamental terms to my adversary. My adversary is almost always a man who is too lazy to educate himself, to Google basic terms, or to even temporarily disabuse himself of stereotypes.