What is Feminism?

It's Saturday and Jeff has the flu, so instead of a rollicking evening out, I'm at home cuddling my smartphone. And that means Facebook. Lots of Facebook. Whenever I spend too much time on Facebook, I end up fighting with someone about feminism. These fights typically require me to explain basic, fundamental terms to my adversary. My adversary is almost always a man who is too lazy to educate himself, to Google basic terms, or to even temporarily disabuse himself of stereotypes.




Because I find myself typing the same things over and over again, it seemed a good idea to write a simple blog post explaining what feminism is and is not. This way I can link instead of giving myself carpal tunnel syndrome.

So, are you ready? I'm going to define feminism for you. Try not to get too excited: Feminism is the belief that men and women -- regardless of race, sexual orientation, appearance, class, etc. -- should have equal opportunities. It is also the movement organized around that belief. 

This definition means many different things to many different feminists. Just like any political movement, there are many disagreements within feminism. Some feminists oppose pornography. Some feminists support it. What makes feminism unique is that feminists arrive at their viewpoints by examining what they think is best for women. But a common theme among feminists is that, no matter what they believe, they do not believe it is their right to impose that belief on other women. I, for example, believe that pornography is harmful to other women. I do not, however, believe I have the right to tell other women they can't look at pornography.

So feminism is both personal and political, and there are many sub-movements within feminism -- Marxist feminism, liberal feminism, conservative feminism, anarcho-feminism, libertarian feminism, humanism, difference feminism...the list goes on and on.

There's also a subset in feminism of (usually) young, rather uneducated feminists who are new to the movement. These are women who want to get on board with women's rights, but who don't typically have a good understanding of what that means. They're the women you'll most frequently hear lambasting other women for breastfeeding, wearing makeup, having children, and engaging in other stereotypical female pursuits. They are not representative of the movement. In most cases, they change their opinions as they mature. Sadly, though, it is these women who anti-feminists often look to when they construct straw man arguments against feminism. These women are easy targets because they are wrong. They are judged (often harshly) by more informed feminists. It bears repeating: they do not represent feminism as a whole. These women are a problematic sub-element within the movement. 

Since feminism is such a diverse and varied group, I thought it might be helpful to outline what feminism means to me. Keep in mind that other feminists can and do disagree with me. I draw on several different sub movements within feminism, and don't neatly identify with any single strain of the movement; this is common among feminists, as the majority don't subscribe to any single school of thought. So in that part -- and that part alone -- I am representative. Everything else is just my particular brand of feminism. Your mileage may vary. I'm not providing references because it's easy enough to do your own research, but feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the sources I've used or the studies I've referenced.

I Believe in Equal Opportunity for the Sexes
Every person has a unique skillset that is a combination of early experiences, education, personal preferences, and similar factors. These skillsets can change over a lifetime. I used to be an athlete, but now I'm not, for example. Feminists recognize this fact and believe that all people should have access to opportunities to pursue their interests.

Equal opportunity specifically disavows a belief in equal outcomes. While I believe no one anywhere should ever have to starve, I believe that some people will gain better results, even in a completely free and fair society. But our society in its current manifestation is neither free nor fair. Check this out:

• Women are slightly more likely than men to ask for raises and promotions. When compared to men who have the same qualifications, however, they are less likely to receive these promotions. 
• The wage gap persists, and is getting larger. Women currently make about 78 cents to men's dollar. This is not due to personal choices; the figure controls for time worked. In fact, the pay gap increases as women become more educated and work longer hours. 
• Women are frequently forced to work in hostile work environments. 90 percent of women report experiencing regular sexual harassment on the job. 
• When a resume has a female name on it, assessors judge the applicant as less qualified than the exact same applicant with a male name. 
• Women now outpace men by almost every objective measure of work: they get more college degrees and more advanced degrees. Yet they earn less, even in entry-level jobs. 

My feminism argues that women deserve the same opportunities as men, and they deserve the same benefits (pay, promotions, authority) for the same work. 

I Believe That Gender is a Problematic Construct
Most people are biologically one sex or another. But not all are. About 1 percent of people are born intersex. Consequently, gender and sex do not apply to everyone. This is a trivial point. The less trivial point is that knowing someone's sex tells you nothing about them; there is as much within-sex variability as there is between sexes. Researchers have, over and over again, debunked such claims as women are more emotional than men, men are more mathematically inclined than women, women are less ambitious, men enjoy sex more, and etc. If you aren't familiar with this research, it's your own fault.

My feminism does not accept gendered explanations for behavior. No one does anything solely because they are male or female. We all have free will, and we all have the ability to pursue a wide variety of personality traits, interests, etc. Women are typically limited in what they can pursue. Here's one excellent example:

In one study, mothers took their babies to a research lab. In the lab was a steep slope covered with glass; the glass kept the baby safe, but made the baby think he or she could fall. When mothers were asked how far on the glass their children would be willing to go, they believed that their sons would be much more willing to take risks. What actually happened is that the female children were more likely to take risks. But when a baby girl is raised in a home where no one thinks she can take risks, what do you think happens? Gender conditioning begins early.

I Believe in Equality in Relationships
My husband and I both work outside the home. We both do household chores. We both cook. Who does what at any given time can change depending upon schedules and preferences, but we explicitly endorse an ethic of cooperation and equality. Study after study has demonstrated that women do more work per week than men when work includes work both in and outside of the home. This is fundamentally unjust, and men must do their fair share.

I Believe in Sexual Freedom for Women
Sexual freedom means many different things to many different people. For me, sexual freedom means at least the following:

• Women have a fundamental right not to be viewed as sexual objects.
• A woman's appearance is never a reason to treat her poorly or treat her differently from a man.
• Gendered sexual slurs such as slut and bitch are derogatory and sexist. 
• Women have the same rights to sexual expression as men. 
• Our current sexual paradigm favors men. For example, most men do not learn that women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This means that women who are not properly educated about their bodies -- which is most women, since sex education in this country is so terrible -- do not know how to fully access sexual pleasure. Even when women do get sufficient education, men are often too focused on their own pleasure to offer the same pleasure to women. 

I Believe in a World Free of Gendered Violence
Depending on which statistic you believe, between 15 and 50 percent of women have been raped, and between 30 and 80 percent of women have been the victim of domestic violence. 100 percent of women in one study reported regularly experiencing street harassment (Note: street harassment is harassment such as "nice tits, slut," not a compliment such as "hello"). This violence is sexism at its most extreme, and it must end. It can end; there is nothing innate or predetermined about it, and there are some currently existent societies that have no rape. Ours is not one of them; indeed, the US has the highest rape rate in the industrialized world.

I Believe in Choice
I am unapologetically pro-choice. I believe that some abortions are morally wrong, but I believe those decisions are not mine to make. Some feminists oppose choice.

I Believe in Judgment Without Legislation 
I reserve the right to judge other women for their choices. For example, I detest it when I see women accepting sexual harassment rather than fighting back. And I judge them for this. But I do not believe I have the right to legislate another woman's behavior or beliefs. I don't like porn or strip clubs, but other women are free to partake in them. I have no right to control another person's behavior, but I have every right to question how that person's behavior affects society.

I Believe That Feminism Must Be Intersectional
Intersectionality is the idea that feminism isn't just about white women, and isn't just about women period. Instead, feminism is a broad movement for social justice. For example, intersectionality emphasizes that it's a problem when men get raped, a problem when boys are taught not to express their emotions, and a problem when a society has racist policies. Feminism that is not intersectional is garbage. Period.

How I Live My Feminism
Perhaps one of the best ways to explain how feminism improves quality of life is to outline some of the ways I live feminism. So here goes:

• I didn't take my husband's last name. Of course, this doesn't necessarily make me a feminist, and many feminists do change their name. But I felt that, since he wasn't changing his name, it was unfair to expect me to give up the personal and professional identity I'd had for 28 years. More importantly, I detest the fact that only women have to deal with this issue, and have written more about that here. 
• I plan to have a natural, drug-free birth, to exclusively breastfeed, and to practice attachment parenting. To people who only know about stereotypes of feminism, this might seem shocking. But feminism is about choice and educating yourself. My choice is to make parenting decisions that -- in my opinion, and my opinion only -- will work best for my child and my family. 
• My sex life: I usually try to avoid talking about my sex life in any kind of public forum, but feminism is one of the reasons my husband and I have such an excellent sex life. Most married couples have sex very infrequently; we're not among them. Why? Because I have probably 5-10 orgasms every time we have sex. This is solely because Jeff has educated himself about my body, and has not bought into the problematic paradigm that the only "good" sex is intercourse. 
• Feminism means I never experience any resentment in my marriage. My husband does not control me, and I do not control him. We respect each other. We are equals in everything. There is nothing I am afraid to discuss with him, to ask him for, or to say to him. 
• I have a great job. Sometimes I make more than my husband; sometimes I do not. This is because we're both self-employed. We share our money completely equally, and have no concept of his or hers. It all goes into one big pot, so frankly, I  don't even know when I'm making more money than him and when I'm making less. I am aggressive with seeking out work, and work extremely hard. My husband does the same. Neither of us would accept the other doing any less. However, we're both always open to re-negotiation. If I burned out, my husband would happily support me. If he decided to become a stay at home father, I would happily support him. We don't use gender to decide who works and who doesn't. 

There's a lot more, I'm sure, and I apologize that this is poorly written and meandering. The ultimate takeaway, though, is that feminism has been my protection from injustice, and is the primary source of everything that is good in my life. It is the reason I have a joyful marriage, a great relationship with my family, an equal relationship with my friends, and a stellar job. Without feminism, I would be miserable.