No, Millennials Are Not Selfish, Lazy, and Narcissistic: Busting the Myths About Generation Y

It's cool to mock Millennials. We're the lazy products of helicopter parents. We have no work ethic. We're spoiled, deluded narcissists. The hysteria has grown shrill, hyperbolic, and completely unbelievable. So unbelievable, in fact, that I'd be inclined to ignore it altogether if it weren't for the fact that my generation's alleged--and often contradictory--faults serve as everything from an excuse not to hire us to a reason to ignore our political campaigns.

I'm Not a Cop, So I Don't Believe That Obnoxious Behavior Gives Me the Right to Kill People: A Response to Sunil Dutta

Police brutality is kind of a problem, and most people have begun to realize this, thanks to events in Ferguson and elsewhere in the country. But in response to criticism, authoritarian personalities tend to clamp down even harder than before, desperately searching for any explanation -- no matter how ridiculous -- for the savage, brutal behavior of some police officers.

Others have addressed the problem of police brutality far better than I ever could. The death penalty is not an appropriate penalty for shoplifting. Being maced or beaten is not an appropriate penalty for "talking back" or asserting your Constitutional rights. Black people are not inherently criminal and prone to rioting; people riot for a reason. I know this. You know this. All intelligent, decent people know this. So I'm not going to waste my time arguing that it's not ok for police officers to openly assault people. Instead, I think it's more important to address the problematic reasoning behind police violence.

The bullshit spewed forth by people who want to defend the trampling of basic Constitutional rights, though, is absolutely ceaseless. Enter Sunil Dutta, whose recent op-ed for the Washington Post endeavors, like so many other fluff pieces full of unsupported assertions, to defend the brutality of police officers. So let's slay some bullshit and attack each of Dutta's claims, point by point.

All Aboard the Misery Train: Here's What It's Really Like to Quit Smoking

I quit smoking earlier this year. Just saying that feels a little strange, since my long love affair with nicotine was largely a secret to the people who love me most. I had a lot of shame about smoking because smoking killed so many people I loved, and because I'm otherwise really committed to my health. I also spent the first 20ish years of my life as a rabid anti-smoker, so turning into a smoker made me feel like a horrible person.

On Suicide, Communal Responsibility, and Why Suicide Hotlines Aren't Enough

Robin Williams killed himself yesterday. Predictably, Facebook is aflutter with tributes, photos, and proclamations that suicide is never the answer. I think it's really great that Robin Williams touched so many lives, and this outpouring of grief is indisputable evidence of the bottomless emptiness suicide leaves in its wake. In a few days, though, the commotion will die down, and the shocking number of people who feel suicidal will yet again be left to deal with their ceaseless agony all alone. I am tired of living in a culture that pretends suicide is tragic while doing little to stop it.

It's Not About Chivalry and Resisting Temptation: Here's What Good Men Really Do

The epitome of all that is masculine goodness: my husband.

Even the most cursory perusal of Facebook yields the conclusion that we have a serious problem of masculinity. Men are encouraged by popular culture, by other men, and by the women who let them get away with shitty behavior to act like overgrown manchildren. For some men, this cultural indoctrination turns abusive. Because there are so many men who just aren't up to being decent relationship partners, many women have learned to accept less than they deserve. The result is an entire cottage industry of blog posts telling women how to tell if a guy is a good one and encouraging them to only pick men who do relationships right.

We're Giving Lip Service to Mental Health Issues Again. And We'll Presumably Continue to Not Actually Do Anything.

Another person taught by society that human life is not valuable has gone on a killing spree. Now everyone will begin wringing their hands about how we need better mental health care for about five minutes, but no one will actually do anything. We'll go back to normal until the next shooting, and it will keep happening over and over and over again and we will all pretend to be shocked. Better mental health care -- not involuntary commitment, not violation of patient privacy rights, and certainly not a national mental health registry -- is the solution, and I am so fucking tired of not hearing anyone talk about what better mental health care means.

Here's What It's Like to Buy a Phone From Sprint

One of the great things about buying a phone from Sprint is that they make it clear from the very beginning that they do not give a fuck about you, your satisfaction, your needs, the company's reputation, basic decency, or the law. I appreciate that kind of honesty, and I appreciate even more the ability to imperiously give the middle finger to god damn everything. 

It's Time to Declare War on the Drug War

What do you call a country where the government imposes its will on the people against their will? Simple answer: A totalitarian state.

Snowdeath 2.0: We Shall Slay the Snowbeast With Our Guns

In what can only be characterized as a completely shocking and unforeseeable turn of events, we did not all perish in the great Snowdeath of 2014. And here we are again, staring down the barrel of another Snowdeath as it prepares to shoot its icy bullets of rage and death directly in our faces. The local media has begun to refer to this latest storm as, "an unprecedented event of truly epic and unrivaled proportions." Indeed, it does appear that way. The photo on the right is the horrific current state of the weather. If you look really close, you can probably see a single rain drop. And that rain drop might even be cold. The photo on the left is the apocalyptic scene in the grocery store today. That's a line that stretches all the way around the store and back up to the dairy section, people. As it turns out, it's not just snow that kills. But also rain and cold. 

Snow in Atlanta: We're All Going to Die Because There's an Inch of Snow on the Ground

The view from our house on our last night on Earth.

There is something really satisfying about watching life devolve into a parody of its stereotypical self. And every few years, when the snow rains down its freezing flakes of death upon the city of Atlanta, that is precisely what happens.

How to Get Everything Done: Time Management Tips from an OCD Luddite

As January fades into February, I can almost hear the exasperated sighs of people who have broken their new year's resolutions. New year's resolutions are for sissies. Seriously. You should be making smaller resolutions every single day, because planning an entire year with a single statement or goal is simply not practical. The key to achieving your resolutions isn't particularly glamorous or exciting: to achieve your resolutions, you have to take time every single day to plan your life.

I know, it doesn't sound very exciting. Much easier to insist that you're going to be "more passionate in life," lose 50 pounds, or "be a better person." But these are empty goals that aren't backed by a clear plan. Because of that, they're doomed to fail. So I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret: I get everything done every day, without fail. I have a huge list of clients who place all sorts of demands on me, and I have never missed a deadline. I've never forgotten about something I had to do. I am never surprised when I have an easy or stressful week. I'm not bragging. I'm telling you that if you plan your time, you can be like me.

What is Feminism?

It's Saturday and Jeff has the flu, so instead of a rollicking evening out, I'm at home cuddling my smartphone. And that means Facebook. Lots of Facebook. Whenever I spend too much time on Facebook, I end up fighting with someone about feminism. These fights typically require me to explain basic, fundamental terms to my adversary. My adversary is almost always a man who is too lazy to educate himself, to Google basic terms, or to even temporarily disabuse himself of stereotypes.

Street Harassment: Take 2

Earlier today, I put my post on sexual harassment on Facebook, and I got a pretty overwhelming response. The reaction reminded me yet again that I have awesome friends. But we also ended up talking about self-defense strategies and the like quite a bit. I wrote my original piece not to garner sympathy, but to emphasize that this is a social problem that many -- if not all -- women struggle with at one time or another. I didn't do a particularly good job addressing some myths about street harassment in my first post, so thought I'd give it another go.

A Week of Sexual Harassment

I still remember the first time I was sexually harassed by a stranger. I was 13, on vacation with my best friend Mandy, and some guy chased us down the pier commenting on our "tits." It was terrifying. This kind of harassment has remained terrifying for the intervening 17 years. I don't think I will ever get used to it.

I often hear from men that they'd love to be constantly complimented by strange women. But street harassment is not a compliment. These men don't, for one second, think I'm going to turn around and ask for their number. In fact, when I do respond to them, most of them become violent or angry. Sexual harassment is a way of controlling and policing women. It requires me to spend more energy doing the same task than it would take my husband or brother. They don't have to answer questions about their clothing or appearance; I do.

I've been meaning to catalog a week of sexual harassment for a while now because I think it might change men's opinion on what it's really like to be a woman in the world. I started doing it a few months ago, then got worried that I'd hear, "well, you were wearing provocative clothing/too much makeup." And so I backed off. But my fear that I'd receive that kind of response is exactly why I need to write this. Atlanta is particularly bad in terms of street harassment, so my experiences may not resonate with everyone, but they're still my experiences. I'm making a note of what I was wearing each day so that I don't have to listen to a bunch of garbage about my clothing or appearance and how they cause me to be harassed.

Lavish Me With Praise: I've Solved the Marriage Last-Name Problem

I didn't change my last name when I got married. My best friend did. I made a huge deal about not changing my name and threw fits every time someone addressed me as Mrs. Filipovits. My bestie insists that everyone refer to her by her married name. We're both dedicated feminists, and both of us had a cornucopia of good reasons for our decision; many of these reasons, but not all, were feminist ones.

For the Love of Dog

I had my first real conversation with Zora, my dog, a few days ago. Through a complex set of gestures, I managed to get her into the exact position I wanted her, convince her to ignore the beef I had put in her bowl, and then respond to her frustration in a way that soothed her.

No, I'm not going crazy. It's just that, after almost 10 years together, Zora and I are finally learning the subtleties of one another's communication styles. With this comes the ability to communicate much more complex concepts than sit, come, and stay. It's like this in any relationship. Even with the assistance of human language, it takes several years to really understand another human in the way Zora and I have grown to understand one another. But when you finally gain real understanding with another person, your time together is just beginning.

New Year's Resolutions

Happy new year to my 2.5 readers! The .5 is my dog, who recently opened his own Facebook account. I'm normally not particularly fond of new year's resolutions because they seem like little more than the recipe for self-loathing. I'm also on a perpetual quest for self-improvement and tend to make weekly, daily, and monthly resolutions, so the year-long resolution doesn't make much sense to me.